1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,400 Slimy Stuarts, vile Victorians 2 00:00:04,400 --> 00:00:07,000 Dingy castles, daring knights 3 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:09,800 Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians 4 00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:12,520 Punishment from ancient times 5 00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:15,280 Cavemen savage, fierce and toothless 6 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:18,000 Mean and measly Middle Ages 7 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:20,640 BOTH: 8 00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:23,320 9 00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:26,200 10 00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:27,680 11 00:00:27,680 --> 00:00:31,520 12 00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:34,400 Horrible Histories presents... 13 00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:37,800 Hi-yes! 14 00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:43,480 Welcome to one of the rowdiest, riotous and most dangerous times 15 00:00:43,480 --> 00:00:45,000 in our history. 16 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:49,240 Oh! Oi, be careful where you're pointing that cannon! 17 00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:50,520 MAN: Sorry! 18 00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:52,960 Welcome to the English Civil War, 19 00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:56,640 and let me tell you, it is intense. 20 00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:59,400 It's a war between King Charles I, 21 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:02,680 who believes the King should be able to do whatever he likes, 22 00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:06,360 and Parliament, who want to limit King Charlie's powers 23 00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:10,600 and stop him from just raising taxes whenever he wants to. 24 00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:14,040 But Charlie says he's going to do it anyway, 25 00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:20,000 and that means this country is heading towards an all-out civil war. 26 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:21,280 Ooh! 27 00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:24,000 Your Majesty, just because you are the king 28 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:26,280 does not mean you can do whatever you like. 29 00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:28,720 You can't just tax people willy nilly. 30 00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:30,720 HE LAUGHS 31 00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:32,520 On the contrary. 32 00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:35,680 DANCE MUSIC PLAYS 33 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:41,760 34 00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:43,480 35 00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:45,840 36 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:48,680 37 00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:50,320 38 00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:52,840 39 00:01:52,840 --> 00:01:55,840 God gave me the right 40 00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:59,680 with his might 41 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:02,920 42 00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:05,920 the green light 43 00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:07,720 44 00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:10,000 and my kin 45 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:11,920 that I am the boss 46 00:02:11,920 --> 00:02:14,160 wouldn't be a great loss 47 00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:17,520 ADVISERS: but we still think that 48 00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:20,000 49 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:24,320 to just advise you 50 00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:27,040 51 00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:29,920 I'm the one to make laws 52 00:02:29,920 --> 00:02:33,760 but the power's not yours 53 00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:36,520 I'll rule on my own 54 00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:40,160 in a decade or so 55 00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:45,360 56 00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:47,360 57 00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:50,120 to buy lots of boats 58 00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:54,200 way up to John o' Groats 59 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:56,880 to raise some money 60 00:02:56,880 --> 00:03:00,560 cash to me 61 00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:02,640 across the whole country 62 00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:04,880 let's have a boogie 63 00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:13,160 64 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:17,640 there should be some limits 65 00:03:17,640 --> 00:03:19,400 66 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:21,280 67 00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:26,400 It's 1640 and, unbelievably, 68 00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:30,240 Parliament's now been closed for 11 years thanks to Charles. 69 00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:32,880 It's no wonder MPs like John Pym... Hello! 70 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:35,600 ..and Oliver Cromwell are furious. I'm furious! 71 00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:38,280 And now the Scots are invading England. 72 00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:39,760 Yikes! HORSES WHINNY 73 00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:42,960 Looks like Charlie's going to need cash for an army to fight them. 74 00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:45,320 CHARLES: I need cash for an army to fight them! 75 00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:46,640 See? Told you. 76 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:50,080 Unfortunately for him, there's only one way he can raise that money, 77 00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:52,960 and that's by Parliament agreeing to a tax, 78 00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:56,080 which means reopening Parliament. 79 00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:58,080 But after being shut for 11 years, 80 00:03:58,080 --> 00:04:02,080 I don't think they're going to be in much of a mood to help the king. 81 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:03,560 Hey, gang, it's your boy, 82 00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:06,840 King Charles of England, Ireland and Scotland. 83 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:09,080 Yeah, that's right. I said Scotland. 84 00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:12,080 What's up with those guys, anyway? Why have they invaded England? 85 00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:15,400 Grr! 86 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:19,760 I'm going to raise a load of tax and pay for an army to sort you out. 87 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,160 Lord Stafford? BORED: Yes? 88 00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:24,640 We're going to go down to Parliament and tell THEM to raise the tax. 89 00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:27,720 But they are not there, remember? 90 00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:32,480 That's the wife. French princess. Standard. 91 00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:35,920 You sent them all home 11 years ago, Your Majesty. 92 00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:39,080 I believe you said you didn't need those WASTE MEN... 93 00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:40,440 ..holding you back. 94 00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:43,920 LOL. What am I like? HE LAUGHS 95 00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:45,640 That's fine. I'll just bring them back. 96 00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:47,400 Parliament open for business! 97 00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:49,600 English Parliament refused to order a tax, 98 00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:51,360 so I sent them all back home again. 99 00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:52,920 AIR HORN BLARES 100 00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:54,760 They were here for so little time, 101 00:04:54,760 --> 00:04:57,600 they're already calling it The Short Parliament. 102 00:04:57,600 --> 00:04:59,960 Parliament closed for business! 103 00:04:59,960 --> 00:05:02,360 Well, there's more than one way to raise a tax. 104 00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:03,840 I am the King of England. 105 00:05:03,840 --> 00:05:06,880 If only you were king of another country, too. Wait... 106 00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:09,840 I'm the king of Ireland as well and they've got their own parliament. 107 00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:11,600 Let's just get the money from them! 108 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:13,680 Time for war! 109 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:15,760 So, I raised the money for my army, 110 00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:18,440 and then my army got its bottom kicked by the Scots... 111 00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:19,840 BAGPIPES PLAY 112 00:05:19,840 --> 00:05:21,720 ..so I had to call English Parliament back. 113 00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:23,680 Parliament reopened for business! 114 00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:26,080 Not only did they refuse to raise the tax, 115 00:05:26,080 --> 00:05:28,800 but then they started passing laws to limit my powers. 116 00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:30,160 HE IMITATES EXPLOSION 117 00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:33,880 Newsflash, guys - you can't limit my powers cos I'm the king! 118 00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:37,600 So, guess what? I'm going to put on my big boy king pants, 119 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:39,440 and then I'm going to come down there 120 00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:41,000 and arrest all of the ringleaders! 121 00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:45,600 OK, I went down to arrest Pym and the other ringleaders, 122 00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:47,360 but the birds had flown. CHICKEN CLUCKS 123 00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:49,600 There's people arming themselves outside. 124 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:52,160 London is not a chill city right now. 125 00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:54,360 They would not go to war with their own king. 126 00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:56,840 You are appointed by God. 127 00:05:56,840 --> 00:05:59,040 Yeah, that doesn't seem to be ending the argument 128 00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:01,320 like it used to any more. 129 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:05,040 Might be worth checking the weapon and gunpowder stores in Hull, 130 00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:06,800 just in case. 131 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:11,000 And, er...probably best not to let Parliament know we're doing that. 132 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:12,360 Shh. 133 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:20,520 Hiya, love. 134 00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:26,640 Yeah? Are you the mayor of Hull? 135 00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:28,120 I am, yeah. Why? 136 00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:30,520 Then open up in the name of the King. 137 00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:33,840 The King? 138 00:06:33,840 --> 00:06:36,080 These are dangerous times, 139 00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:38,320 what with the King and Parliament 140 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:40,680 being ready to go to war with one another. 141 00:06:40,680 --> 00:06:43,640 One's life could be in danger for saying the wrong thing 142 00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:45,120 to the wrong person. 143 00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:48,280 If you let me finish, what I was going to say is 144 00:06:48,280 --> 00:06:50,040 "open up in the name of the King" 145 00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:53,400 is the sort of thing a chap might say if he were loyal to the king 146 00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:55,560 and wanted you to let him in. 147 00:06:55,560 --> 00:07:00,400 I wonder, what sort of thing might you say to a person like that? 148 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:02,640 He wants to know if you're loyal to the king. 149 00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:04,880 Stay out of this, Nosy Sarah. Fine. 150 00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:08,520 So, are you loyal to the king? 151 00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:11,800 Mmm...I don't know. 152 00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:13,280 Are you loyal to the king? 153 00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:14,640 HIGH-PITCHED: Uh... 154 00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:16,760 Anyone want to know if I'm loyal to the king? 155 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:18,160 MEN: No. 156 00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:20,560 Fine by me. Make yourself useful. 157 00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:23,600 So, tell me, who are you? 158 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:27,240 Um... He's the Earl of Newcastle. 159 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:28,920 HE SCOFFS I'm not. 160 00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:31,200 Why would the Earl of Newcastle be visiting Hull? 161 00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:33,960 If I had to guess, I'd say that the king wants to know 162 00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:36,240 if all the ammunition stored here in Hull 163 00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:38,600 is likely to end up in the hands of his enemies 164 00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:40,440 when civil war breaks out. 165 00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:43,800 I...am...Sir... 166 00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:45,480 ..John... 167 00:07:45,480 --> 00:07:47,160 ..Savage. 168 00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:49,000 He's the Earl of Newcastle. 169 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:51,280 Look! That pub's named after him. 170 00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:53,960 Oh, come on. What are the chances of that? 171 00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:56,720 Right, listen, Sir John Fake Name. 172 00:07:56,720 --> 00:07:59,040 I don't know what's going on here. 173 00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:01,640 But I am trying to make a smoothie in there 174 00:08:01,640 --> 00:08:04,440 and we are mostly supporters of Parliament here, 175 00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:06,240 so I suggest that you leave. 176 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:08,920 Fine. I'll go. I'll go. 177 00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:14,360 Right. Well, I spoke to the council. It is private... 178 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:16,480 HIGH-PITCHED: Oh! Hello there. 179 00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:19,480 I am a weary old washerwoman, 180 00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:24,160 hoping to wrest her withered old legs upon a weapons store. 181 00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:26,560 No. Oh, for goodness sake! 182 00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:27,960 Timewaster! 183 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:30,960 I'm not sure that was an old woman. 184 00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:34,880 It's 1642 and both sides, 185 00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:36,600 King Charles and Parliament, 186 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:39,360 have recruited 20,000 soldiers. 187 00:08:39,360 --> 00:08:41,400 Neither side is backing down, 188 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:43,120 and now dodgy old Charlie 189 00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:46,160 is about to declare war on his own parliament. 190 00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:49,080 What could possibly go wrong? 191 00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:51,600 VOICEOVER: Welcome to Civil War's Been Framed, 192 00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:54,720 the show that proves that kings and queens can get stuff wrong, too, 193 00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:57,600 and nothing interferes with trying to start a war more 194 00:08:57,600 --> 00:09:00,040 than when you've got trouble with wind. 195 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,760 Couldn't we use a smaller flag, Your Majesty? 196 00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:05,080 No. What's wrong with this one? 197 00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:07,200 It's massive! That's what's wrong with it. 198 00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:09,920 Sire, we need 20 men to put it up properly. 199 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:11,520 LAUGHTER Told you. Nonsense. 200 00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:14,960 Outside in this field is the best place to declare war. 201 00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:16,360 THUNDER CRASHES 202 00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:19,080 Yeah, not any more, mate. LAUGHTER 203 00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:22,200 But I guess kings are used to REIGNING. Ha! 204 00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:25,320 On the bright side, it's not a complete declaration fail. 205 00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:27,720 Lead on, Herald. Hang on, hang on, hang on! 206 00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:31,240 Er, I just want to make a couple of changes to the wording. 207 00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:33,160 A last-minute rewrite in the rain. 208 00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:34,800 What could possibly go wrong? 209 00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:37,520 OK. Loud and proud. LAUGHTER 210 00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:40,000 HE CLEARS THROAT On this day, 211 00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:42,560 the 22nd of... 212 00:09:42,560 --> 00:09:44,680 ..augh-ah-ah... 213 00:09:44,680 --> 00:09:48,080 ..1642... August! It says August! 214 00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:50,160 Sorry. The rain smudged the print. 215 00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:52,240 MOCKING: The rain smudged the print! 216 00:09:52,240 --> 00:09:54,760 Carry on, Herald. I'm sure you're through the worst of it. 217 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:58,760 I, Charles Stupid, King of England... 218 00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:00,480 Charles Stupid? Yeah, maybe not. 219 00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:02,120 Why would I have written that?! 220 00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:04,280 Charles Stuart, King of England. Come on! 221 00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:07,040 Sorry, your handwriting's all scribbly when you changed it... 222 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:08,240 Oh, so it's my fault? 223 00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:11,200 I'm not having a go. I just can't read it. 224 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:13,920 OK, so, apart from the weather - and the words - 225 00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:15,480 I think that went pretty well. 226 00:10:15,480 --> 00:10:17,360 At least the flag didn't fall down. 227 00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:19,040 Oh! Spoke too soon. 228 00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:21,320 Well, if just declaring war goes that badly, 229 00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:23,640 imagine how well the rest of this is going to go. 230 00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:26,040 We should use a smaller flag. See you next time. 231 00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:27,320 Great idea. 232 00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:31,920 So, the Civil War has started, people. 233 00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:35,240 It's on, and everyone's got to pick a side. 234 00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:38,200 It's so hard to choose. What do you reckon? 235 00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:41,080 Should I support the King and be a royalist Cavalier, 236 00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:44,680 or would I be better off as a parliamentarian Roundhead? 237 00:10:44,680 --> 00:10:47,360 Hmm. Choices, choices. 238 00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:51,800 And even if I can pick a team, how will I know who else is on it? 239 00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:54,680 I might end up fighting the wrong person 240 00:10:54,680 --> 00:10:56,600 cos, frankly, on the battlefield, 241 00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:59,920 all the soldiers are basically dressed the same. 242 00:10:59,920 --> 00:11:01,120 Hmm! 243 00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:02,440 Don't move! 244 00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:04,240 Are you friend or foe? 245 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:05,640 Er... 246 00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:09,040 I mean...it's hard to tell. What? 247 00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:12,000 Well, we're wearing similar clothes, so I don't really know. 248 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:14,080 All right, just...just tell me what side you're on. 249 00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:16,000 King or Parliament? 250 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:18,680 Why don't you tell me which side you're on? I asked first. 251 00:11:18,680 --> 00:11:20,480 I fight for the English. 252 00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:22,720 We're all fighting for the English, mud-for-brains. 253 00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:26,200 Hey! I'm not going to let anybody speak to me like that. 254 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:29,480 On the other hand, I probably would let somebody on my side say it 255 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:32,280 cos then it would just be friendly banter... Banter, right. 256 00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:34,920 Tricky. Yeah. For the English! Ugh! 257 00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:38,480 This is really confusing. 258 00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:41,640 All right, our side favours wearing red. 259 00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:44,400 It's not going to work. Both sides like red. Oh. 260 00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:47,000 Our lot, we're all wearing, like, a white piece of paper 261 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:50,320 in the top of our hat, so we can sort of see who's on our side. 262 00:11:50,320 --> 00:11:52,520 We also have white paper... Oh, that's promising! 263 00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:55,800 ..and our secret battle code words are... 264 00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:57,240 BOTH: "God with us"! 265 00:11:57,240 --> 00:11:59,480 Hey! We're on the same side! Royals! 266 00:11:59,480 --> 00:12:02,520 Huzzah for Parliament! Huzzah for us Roundheads! 267 00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:04,720 Oh, Roundheads? I'm a royalist Cavalier. 268 00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:06,160 Oh, my gosh. 269 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:09,120 Wait, are you telling me we both chose the same code words 270 00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:11,240 and the same white paper for our hats? 271 00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:13,520 What are the chances? It's mad. I can't believe it. 272 00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:15,640 Should we, erm, do the...? Yeah. Go on, then. 273 00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:17,360 Probably should. 274 00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:19,440 God with us. 275 00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:21,400 You want to tell him or shall I? 276 00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:23,080 Forget it. 277 00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:24,480 Hi, royalist fans! 278 00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:26,960 God save King Charlie. Whoo, whoo! SHE LAUGHS 279 00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:29,560 I'm Charlotte Stanley, Countess of Derby, 280 00:12:29,560 --> 00:12:31,960 and I'm here with some more tips on how to communicate 281 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:33,600 during a civil war. 282 00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:35,080 It's time for another... 283 00:12:36,360 --> 00:12:38,400 Take that, parliamentarian swine! 284 00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:40,160 Nathaniel, is that really more important 285 00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:41,560 than me talking to my followers? 286 00:12:41,560 --> 00:12:44,400 Well, we are under siege. No, it isn't. 287 00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:46,400 That's my sidekick and soldier, Nathaniel. 288 00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:49,120 He's just shooting at the Roundheads who've surrounded my castle... 289 00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:50,920 EXPLOSION 290 00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:53,080 Nathaniel, can you please clean that up? 291 00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:55,960 Welcome to your number one guide for the latest tips and tricks 292 00:12:55,960 --> 00:12:58,600 on how to pass messages during a civil war. 293 00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:01,600 NATHANIEL SCREAMS Oh! A message has arrived. 294 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:03,200 Oh! Ah! 295 00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:08,440 Firing arrows through windows can be dangerous for the people inside, 296 00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:11,520 but it is a great way to send a letter in secret! 297 00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:13,800 LadyInTheTower242 asks... 298 00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:18,000 ROUNDHEAD: Ow! 299 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:20,440 Oh, girl! I got you. 300 00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:23,480 Just our men are at war doesn't mean you can't woo your boo. 301 00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:24,840 Come here, you! 302 00:13:26,560 --> 00:13:28,720 Nathaniel? Yeah? Read. 303 00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:31,400 Yeah. I can't, it's gibberish. Exactly! 304 00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:33,440 Tip number two is write in code. 305 00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:36,840 In that way, it can't be read even if it falls into enemy hands. 306 00:13:39,440 --> 00:13:41,680 Roll your message up in wax or lead 307 00:13:41,680 --> 00:13:44,440 to the size of a musket ball like this. 308 00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:47,640 Don't shoot it, eat it! 309 00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:49,600 Then, once Nathaniel finds your beloved, 310 00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:52,480 he simply drops his trousers and poops out your message. 311 00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:55,280 Argh! Not doing that. Well, then, Nathaniel, 312 00:13:55,280 --> 00:13:58,040 I think we might have to resort to tip number four. 313 00:14:00,320 --> 00:14:04,200 Stick your message in an oozing, infected wound. 314 00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:06,360 Even if Nathaniel's arrested by the Roundheads, 315 00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:09,360 there's no way they'll go poking around in a stinky scab factory. 316 00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:12,080 You're not sticking your letter in my arrow wound. Yes, I am. 317 00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:14,440 Remember, smash the like, and I'll be back next time 318 00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:17,200 with more tips and tricks on Message In A Battle! 319 00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:18,560 God save the King! 320 00:14:18,560 --> 00:14:20,040 Nathaniel, come here. 321 00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:21,680 You leave my bum wound alone! 322 00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:27,400 It's 1645 and the war is starting to swing our way. 323 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,680 Yes, Parliament! Get in! 324 00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:31,600 We're beating the king's forces, 325 00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:34,080 and it's mostly thanks to General Fairfax 326 00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:39,080 and his ultra-professional and super organised New Model Army. 327 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:42,160 Right, I'm off to join up! CANONS FIRE 328 00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:44,920 Yeah, it's, er...the other way. 329 00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:47,120 There's a new fighting force in town. 330 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:49,040 It's hard, it's professional, 331 00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:50,960 and it's going to blow the silly goatee 332 00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:52,720 right off of King Charles's face. 333 00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:55,000 Ooh! See? I'm General Fairfax, 334 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:57,880 and I'm here to tell you that if you want to be the best, 335 00:14:57,880 --> 00:14:59,920 then you need to join the New Model Army. 336 00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:03,720 Model? Great! I love toy soldiers. 337 00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:05,440 It's not that kind of model army. 338 00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:08,760 We're the first professional army in England. 339 00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:10,080 We pay a regular wage 340 00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:13,560 and we only use the most modern of warfare techniques. 341 00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:16,040 Our soldiers travel all across the country 342 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:18,960 to fight against King Charles wherever he may be. 343 00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:20,960 Quite a shouty man, aren't you? 344 00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:23,720 You get to do all the things a modern soldier loves, 345 00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:25,800 like horse riding, hand-to-hand combat 346 00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:28,240 and most of all...praying. 347 00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:30,120 We'll pray all day if we have to! 348 00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:31,760 So, if you like... 349 00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:38,720 ..and mostly...God, 350 00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:41,000 then you should join the New Model Army. 351 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:43,120 When do we get to play with our toy soldiers? 352 00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:45,160 SHOUTING: It's not that kind of model army! 353 00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:51,240 Wow. I've just seen the New Model Army 354 00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:53,360 in action at the Battle of Naseby. 355 00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:56,280 They absolutely smashed it. 356 00:15:56,280 --> 00:16:00,040 But I'm not surprised. They haven't lost a battle yet. 357 00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:02,800 Things are going so well that the king surrendered 358 00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:05,000 and he's being locked up, 359 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:07,800 although keeping him locked up hasn't been easy. 360 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:12,000 He's already escaped from house arrest at Hampton Court. 361 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:15,040 Still, what are the chances he'll try it again? 362 00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:16,240 Hmm... 363 00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:20,480 Going well, is it, Sire? 364 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,680 Oh, sa-weet freedom! 365 00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:25,280 My liberty is nigh, I can feel it! 366 00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:28,880 Maybe trying to escape through the bars wasn't such a great idea, Sire. 367 00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:30,800 Nonsense. Why would you say a thing like that? 368 00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:33,200 It's just that you've had your head stuck for some time now. 369 00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:36,240 That is such a glass-half-empty way of looking at things, Ashburnham, 370 00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:39,840 because you could say that my head is completely free from the prison. 371 00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:43,160 Mm, yep, but a lot of your body's still inside the prison, Sire. 372 00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:45,560 Yes. Right, new plan. 373 00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:49,680 Like the greasy sausage, we shall slip through their hands. 374 00:16:49,680 --> 00:16:51,320 We will head to the New Forest, 375 00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:55,240 moving so fast that they'll be unable to keep a hold of us. Ha-ha-ha! 376 00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:56,760 Brilliant idea, Your Majesty. Yes. 377 00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:59,760 You might be forgetting one thing - your head is stuck in a window. 378 00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:02,560 Will you stop being such a negative nelly?! 379 00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:05,280 Everyone knows that if the head can pass through a space, 380 00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:06,640 then the rest can follow 381 00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:09,240 because the head is the biggest part of the body. 382 00:17:09,240 --> 00:17:12,240 So, here we go. One time, no thought. Here we go. 383 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:14,360 CHARLES GRUNTS 384 00:17:14,360 --> 00:17:16,040 Gah! 385 00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:17,760 Yee-ee! 386 00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:20,560 Ta-da! Ow. 387 00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:22,360 I think that just applies to mice, sire. 388 00:17:22,360 --> 00:17:25,160 Why didn't you say anything, then, Ashburnham?! I did. 389 00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:26,440 My shoulder's stuck now 390 00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:28,520 and I'm in a huge amount of physical pain! 391 00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:30,280 OK, right, plan C, plan C. 392 00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:33,480 Earlier today, I took the precaution of summoning a man servant, 393 00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:37,520 whose outrageous clothing will distract from his face. 394 00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:40,000 I'm talking a big wide hat, 395 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:43,320 a big beard and a wig and a big great coat. 396 00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:47,400 Hmm, yeah. So all I need then do is disguise myself as him and, ah... 397 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,640 You mean this bloke? Yeah, we spotted him immediately. 398 00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:50,840 You're not going anywhere. 399 00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:53,920 Now here's my plan, you go back to bed and you stay here, 400 00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:55,920 locked up and ready to be executed. 401 00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:57,680 Pfff, tell them, Ashburnham. 402 00:17:57,680 --> 00:18:01,240 It's a good plan, guard, if it weren't for one inescapable fact. 403 00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:06,400 Head in window! I'm stucko, bucko! 404 00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:08,520 HE LAUGHS 405 00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:10,480 You're not very stealthy. 406 00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:13,600 Chestnut? TUTS 407 00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:15,160 I don't know how you can eat 408 00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:16,520 at an execution, Sarah, 409 00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:18,400 I'm much too excited! 410 00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:19,680 Down with the King! 411 00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:21,320 Hey! Stop pushing! 412 00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:23,680 Haven't we had enough fighting over the last few years? 413 00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:25,760 Isn't it time we put an end to the violence? 414 00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:29,240 Let's all watch the King getting his head chopped off together. 415 00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:32,640 I actually hope they don't kill him. 416 00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:34,280 I quite like the King. 417 00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,920 You can't say that, you'll get us killed! 418 00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:40,800 Anyway, it's too late, the Parliamentarians 419 00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:42,480 have already signed his death warrant. 420 00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:43,920 FANFARE PLAYS There he is. 421 00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:45,880 King Charles is coming out! CROWD BOOS, CHEERS 422 00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:47,000 Wooh! 423 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,800 CROWD GOES QUIET 424 00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:50,000 Sorry. 425 00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:51,200 Die! 426 00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:52,440 CROWD BOOS, CHEERS 427 00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:55,800 Right, here we are, the grand finale, the big chop! 428 00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:57,520 Ah! Hankies ready, Alice? 429 00:18:57,520 --> 00:18:58,880 Hankie ready, Sarah. 430 00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:01,240 Oh, it looks like the executioner is about to do it. 431 00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:02,960 THWACK, SPLODGE 432 00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:06,400 I got it, I got it, I got real king's blood on my hankie! 433 00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:08,080 Yeah, I got some, too! 434 00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:10,240 I'm going to give this to my warty uncle Kenny 435 00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:12,600 cos they say the King's blood can cure all sorts. 436 00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:14,880 I've had such a lovely day! 437 00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:18,200 It's not often you get to see a real live king onstage. 438 00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:20,080 Or a real king dead onstage either. 439 00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:22,720 BLOWS NOSE 440 00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:24,360 Oh, mate. 441 00:19:24,360 --> 00:19:26,400 Got a bit of king on your face. 442 00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:27,560 Have I? 443 00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:30,000 No, get your own! 444 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,600 RIP, King Charles I, 445 00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:36,600 the only English king to ever be tried and executed, 446 00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:38,560 he'll be sadly missed. 447 00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:40,040 Although, 448 00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:43,040 obviously not by a lot of the people who were fighting him. 449 00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:45,120 So, who's going to rule now? 450 00:19:45,120 --> 00:19:47,640 Parliament or a new king? 451 00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:50,960 I mean, I am available if there's a vacancy. 452 00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:53,040 CACKLES 453 00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:56,560 If it is a king, the most likely candidate is King Charles's son, 454 00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:58,600 who he rather originally named 455 00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:00,080 Charles. Oh! 456 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:04,280 The Scots like him so much they're already calling him King Charles II. 457 00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:07,240 This new Charlie even raised an army 458 00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:09,520 to fight the Parliamentarian army 459 00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:12,160 and their new leader, Oliver Cromwell. 460 00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:17,160 It looks like we've got another massive Civil War on our hands. 461 00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:21,160 But, oh, no, wait, there's been one big battle and it's over. 462 00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:25,920 Charlie II's been defeated and he's on the run, just like his dad was. 463 00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:28,600 Let's hope he has better luck, hmm. 464 00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:33,200 Oliver Cromwell and his Parliamentarians 465 00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:35,840 are now focused on the capture of the new Royalist leader, 466 00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:38,560 Charles II, to put an end to the Civil War 467 00:20:38,560 --> 00:20:39,880 once and for all. 468 00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:44,480 This is our target, King Charles's son, Prince Charles, 469 00:20:44,480 --> 00:20:47,360 crowned King Charles II by the Scots. 470 00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:58,040 He's on the run and we can assume he's running 471 00:20:58,040 --> 00:20:59,640 to France. 472 00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:01,160 And it won't be easy to find him, 473 00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:05,120 he's likely to be wearing some brilliant disguise. 474 00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:08,920 Charles II is blending in seamlessly 475 00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:10,560 in his disguise as a peasant. 476 00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:12,680 TRYING TO SPEAK IN COCKNEY: Hello, hello, missy. 477 00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:15,640 Cor, love a duck, or, erm, possibly a pheasant. 478 00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:17,800 Erm, all right, cool, disguise is sorted. 479 00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:20,040 Erm, shall we pop me in the royal carriage? 480 00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:23,480 Ah, yes, er, no, I'm afraid we're going to have to walk 481 00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:25,880 because peasants don't have carriages. 482 00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:27,560 Really? 483 00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:30,000 Pchhhh! 484 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:32,040 OK, guys, new intel. 485 00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:34,560 Now we think he's somewhere in Shropshire, 486 00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:37,200 so we need to send teams to search the houses of any 487 00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:39,880 known Royalist sympathisers in the area. 488 00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:42,640 Among the houses to be searched is Boscobel House, 489 00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:44,600 where the King is said to be hiding. 490 00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:46,800 We searched the house but there's no sign of them. 491 00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:48,440 I really thought we had them this time. 492 00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:50,560 BOING! Ow! 493 00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:51,720 Sorry! 494 00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:53,320 No problem. 495 00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:55,360 Grr! Where could he be hiding? 496 00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:58,680 You're doing a great job! Thank you. 497 00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:02,040 He was up the oak tree for a whole day! 498 00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:04,360 All they needed to do was look up, 499 00:22:04,360 --> 00:22:07,360 and now I hear there's Royalist sympathisers 500 00:22:07,360 --> 00:22:10,280 thinking of naming their pub The Royal Oak! 501 00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:12,400 Like I need reminding. 502 00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:17,480 Since the incident with the oak tree, Charles has been moving from 503 00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:21,280 house to house in what has become a massive game of hide and seek. 504 00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:24,160 Your Majesty, it's... it's time to move, 505 00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:26,200 we're heading south for a boat to France. 506 00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:28,280 Who are you talking to? Ahh! 507 00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:31,480 Your Majesty, I... I thought you were hiding in the priest hole. 508 00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:34,200 Yeah, but I got bored and popped out for a spot of lunch. 509 00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:36,440 Have you thought about putting a harpsicord in there? 510 00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:37,840 It might liven the place up a bit. 511 00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:39,680 You don't think the noise might be a problem? 512 00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:41,960 Yeah, true, when they're played badly they are awful. 513 00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:45,240 Hmm, no, I sort of more meant that people searching for you 514 00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:46,480 might be able to hear it. 515 00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:47,840 Oh, yeah, right, that too. 516 00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:50,840 OK, well, I'll pop on my travel crown and let's go. 517 00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:56,200 Ah! Yeah, maybe let me choose the disguise, Your Majesty. 518 00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:57,520 Fine. 519 00:22:57,520 --> 00:22:58,720 Take off the crown. 520 00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:00,800 I'm not going to take off the crown. 521 00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:03,120 Although the Royalists must now accept defeat 522 00:23:03,120 --> 00:23:05,720 and the Civil War is finally officially over, 523 00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:09,520 Charles II has somehow managed to escape to France by boat. 524 00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:10,960 Ha-ha, I'm free! 525 00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:12,920 I outsmarted all you idiots. 526 00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:16,120 I can finally take off this disgusting disguise. 527 00:23:16,120 --> 00:23:18,360 Oh, you're the King? 528 00:23:18,360 --> 00:23:21,520 Well, then, this trip will cost you 200 quid extra. 529 00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:23,000 I should have seen that coming. 530 00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:24,320 Seriously, cough up. 531 00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:31,000 So Charles II fled to Europe, the Royalists were defeated 532 00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:32,760 and we Parliamentarians 533 00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:35,040 had won! CHEERING 534 00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:37,600 Eventually it was decided that we needed one person 535 00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:41,680 to take over as the head of the country, but definitely not as king. 536 00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:43,680 And the person they decided on... 537 00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:44,920 ..was me! 538 00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:46,840 No, no, no, no, no, not as king. 539 00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:48,760 I'm... I'm not a king. 540 00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:55,200 Pretty cool office, Dad. 541 00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:57,240 Thank you, Richard. So what's it like being king? 542 00:23:57,240 --> 00:23:59,440 Right, we've been through this, I am not the king, 543 00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:02,640 I'm Lord Protector, it's very different. 544 00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:03,760 No, of course. 545 00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:05,920 It's just this whole palace gives me real 546 00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:07,400 kingy vibes, I like it. 547 00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:08,440 Huh! 548 00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:14,120 Well, whatever the vibe may be, 549 00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:15,720 I'm not the king. 550 00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:18,240 What about your throne? Throne? I haven't got a throne. 551 00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:20,600 You had one at your coronation. It wasn't a coronation. 552 00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:23,880 Are you sure? I was being inaugurated as Lord Protector. 553 00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:25,320 And that throne you sat on. 554 00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:26,440 It wasn't a throne! 555 00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:28,840 Wasn't it used during Edward I's coronation 400 years ago? 556 00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:30,440 And don't kings normally sit on... 557 00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:32,520 It wasn't a throne, I'm not the king! 558 00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:36,880 The decorators need your colour selections for the revamp, 559 00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:37,920 Your Majesty. 560 00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:41,960 He's not the king. Uh, right. 561 00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:44,360 I mean, er, not Your Majesty. 562 00:24:44,360 --> 00:24:46,680 Why are you redecorating, Dad? Well, it's just nice 563 00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:49,200 to have something different after the last person moved out. 564 00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:50,360 And who was the last person 565 00:24:50,360 --> 00:24:52,440 to live in Whitehall Palace before you again? 566 00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:54,400 Urgh... King Charles. 567 00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:58,120 Look, it's just a house, where the person who leads the country lives, 568 00:24:58,120 --> 00:25:00,160 it doesn't mean I'm the king. 569 00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:02,400 Ah, royal blue, good choice. 570 00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:03,760 Ah. 571 00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:05,880 Must be nice having staff in a palace. 572 00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:08,600 A bit like being a... Don't say it! 573 00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:12,280 Your sceptre is back from the menders, Your Majesty. 574 00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:15,440 Oh, Your Highness. 575 00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:17,000 Your Lowness? 576 00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:18,360 Your Nobleness? 577 00:25:18,360 --> 00:25:20,160 Squi-ahhhh! Just give it to me. 578 00:25:20,160 --> 00:25:22,440 I tried. Thank you. 579 00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:25,760 It's funny, with that sceptre you really look like... 580 00:25:25,760 --> 00:25:27,520 ..Lord Protector. 581 00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:29,120 CHUCKLES 582 00:25:29,120 --> 00:25:30,880 Definitely not the king. 583 00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:32,360 SIGHS 584 00:25:32,360 --> 00:25:35,120 I mean, it does suit me. 585 00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:39,040 GLASS SMASHES, CAT SQUEALS And there you have it, 586 00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:41,880 that's the story of the English Civil War - 587 00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:45,720 an extraordinary time of turmoil in British history. 588 00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:48,720 The only time a king has been tried and executed, 589 00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:51,360 and the only time we've had a Lord Protector. 590 00:25:51,360 --> 00:25:53,080 Good times! 591 00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:54,920 For a while anyway. 592 00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:57,720 What happened then, after I took charge? 593 00:25:57,720 --> 00:26:01,000 Well, someone thought the best way to tell you about that 594 00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:05,960 was to do so in a jaunty song, sung by me. 595 00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:07,000 You're welcome! 596 00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:10,200 597 00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:11,320 Huh! 598 00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:13,120 599 00:26:13,120 --> 00:26:15,240 600 00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:18,680 601 00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:20,000 Huh! 602 00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:21,920 603 00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:23,920 604 00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:26,400 605 00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:27,640 606 00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:29,400 607 00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:31,480 for the cause 608 00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:33,760 and reformed laws 609 00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:35,440 610 00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:36,880 611 00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:38,800 the crown and sceptre 612 00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:40,520 what we were called 613 00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:43,000 "Peace Through War" 614 00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:44,400 615 00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:46,040 Huh! 616 00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:48,360 617 00:26:48,360 --> 00:26:50,040 618 00:26:51,680 --> 00:26:53,600 619 00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:54,800 Huh! 620 00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:56,520 621 00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:58,640 622 00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:02,200 into 12 little bits 623 00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:04,400 had to call that quits 624 00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:07,000 king would be the solution 625 00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:09,200 with a new constitution 626 00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:11,000 death was my fate 627 00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:13,040 plate 628 00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:15,320 the great dictator 629 00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:18,080 out a year later 630 00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:20,120 631 00:27:20,120 --> 00:27:21,280 Huh! 632 00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:23,000 633 00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:25,040 634 00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:28,520 635 00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:29,680 Huh! 636 00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:31,920 637 00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:33,520 638 00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:38,960 I've been in exile 639 00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:42,360 640 00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:45,480 641 00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:47,480 642 00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:51,440 643 00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:55,120 From Civil War times 644 00:27:55,120 --> 00:27:56,840 645 00:27:56,840 --> 00:27:58,240 646 00:27:58,240 --> 00:28:01,280 and put my head on a spike 647 00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:03,640 648 00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:05,360 Huh! 649 00:28:05,360 --> 00:28:06,720 650 00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:08,840 Don't get me started! 651 00:28:10,360 --> 00:28:12,520 652 00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:13,920 Huh! 653 00:28:13,920 --> 00:28:15,440 654 00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:16,920 Right, now where's the party?